Writing these pages was...tumultuous. I had been in a writer's block and artist's block for months, slowly eating through the buffer I had built up. Then one day, at work, something happened. A few days before, a coworker lent me "The Speed of Light" by Alex Shein. As I listened to it, I kept starting to cry. I didn't have any idea why, but with it came the urge to write and draw. For most of the morning I tried to ignore it, but finally I just decided to take some vacation time and go home. So I did. I packed up, went home, put on the same music, and started to draw and cry. It felt like a big, black bubble of poisoned oil and tar had been welling up in me, and suddenly in that moment it burst. I just drew and drew with tears running down my face for no reason, needing no reason, until I didn't need to anymore. All things told, I blazed through many pages in only a few hours, starting with page 149 and ending here. It was an intense, exhausting, and difficult experience, but in a way it was also a very beautiful experience.
It was a very alive experience.
I've run out of words.
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4 comments:
I can't help but agree with Grace/Gray/whatever we call her now statements. But I'm an untrusting cynical person who has no faith in God or Humanity.
I have to confess, I see a lot of myself in Grey on this page. I've been coping with clinical depression for some time now, and her... rant? Anyway, it pretty much sums up what would go through my head at the worst moments.
Thank you.
*hug*
I think this whole story is very strong and it takes more than just artistic skill to write about a heroine going through what Grey is going through.
It's like you really put your soul into the work, and that is very brave.
It was a very alive moment and a very true one. I suspect you've captured something anyone who has ever trudged through the black canyons of depression has experienced. Congratulations.
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